TAP DANCING
‘Hello, is that Plumbob & Bailem?’
‘Yes it is. Is that you Mr. Waters?’
‘Fraid so.’
‘What is this time?’
‘It’s my computer.’
‘Erm, we don’t do computers Mr. Waters, just plumbing.’
‘Yes, yes, I know. It’s just that the ceiling’s fallen in and the bath fell through and smashed up my computer.’
‘We don’t really do building work either Mr. Waters; just plumbing like I said. Do you want us to install a new bath?’
‘No, no … well, yes I suppose so but not yet. I’m sorry, I’m not making myself very clear am I?’
‘Not really Sir, no.’
‘Well, the thing is, I turned the taps on to run a bath and then someone came to the door. So I went down to see who it was and it was my neighbour to say the garden was flooding because I’d left the tap on for the hose. So I went out to turn it off but then I noticed that the overflow was leaking from the downstairs toilet.’
‘So you want us to fix the toilet?’
‘No … well, yes, but not yet. It was the basin you see, I’d forgotten to turn the taps off.’
‘I see Sir, so you want us to fix the basin and the toilet?’
‘Yes, but that’s not why I’ve rung.’
‘Erm, why exactly have you rung then Sir?’
‘Well, I was telling you. After I noticed the overflow I came in to phone you but the kitchen floor was wet because I’d left the taps on in the sink.’
’Yes ,,, and … you want us to fix the kitchen sink?’
‘No, no, no! Oh for goodness sake. I told you, I was running a bath when all this happened and I thought, gosh, I don’t want the bath to overflow so I ran back up the stairs, jumped in the bath and turned the taps off just in time.
‘Right … and what exactly is it you want us to do?’
‘Well, I was having a nice soak in the bath but the weight of the water was too much for the ceiling and it fell through; and now me and the bath are balancing on top of my smashed up computer … and I’ve got my toe stuck in the tap! … Can you help?’
