The Blue Water Mystery
In the Beginning
The year is 1993 and I started a job as ‘Out Of Hours Sample Receptionist’ at The Thames Water Lab on London’s Canary Wharf. The job appeared rather mundane, even boring. From 1993 – 1998 this routine job provided huge surprises. My name is Paul, this is just one of the extraordinary incidents.
The time is 22:00, the place is the Water Quality Centre Laboratory
The water was that lovely blue colour seen when the air is clear and the sun is highest in the sky. The sort of ‘water colour wash sky’ swished on artwork paper. There it sat, all fresh and new, harmless on the laboratory work top.
It was 10pm, the analyst was due soon to find out just what made this particular tap water blue.
The Laboratory was huge and at that time of the night had just 7 staff working. It was like a factory during the summer shutdown. So much space and so few staff. All the water samples sat standing in their refrigerated rooms. All in identical see through plastic bottles, in neat, orderly straight lines, like ‘on parade soldiers’ with various different colour caps on.
All samples had targets to be met and staff came in sporadically on these ‘Graveyard Shifts’ to deal with samples that had been delayed or ‘deemed’ to be emergencies.
The staff were directed by ‘Central Control Centre’, based in Reading, which never closed.
Timing was all
The time is 18:15, the place is Dave’s van.
Whilst the Lab ‘ticked over’ on its ‘graveyard shift’ Dave was on an emergency case. He had worked for Thames Water since leaving school aged fifteen. Forty years later and he was still doing the same job. Collecting water samples. He had elevated to the top. He carried out emergency high responsibility samples. Nobody else put samples in plastic bottles with as much care as he did. He knew the manual forwards and backwards, he had never contaminated anything. Dave grimaced, he was too good for this job. But it was safe. His mother’s instructions told him to be wary of a very uncertain world. Anyway, he was rule 21. A ‘Bullet proof’ member of staff. Dave knew this wasn’t quite true, and he always kept his nose clean. He took a little extra ‘time off’ that was all. Thames Water had long battled with the Unison Union over staff contracts. Rule 21 on a previously issued contract, guaranteed shorter working weeks, more holidays, and an enhanced pension plan. The current management, embarrassed by inherited Rule 21 generosity, tended to leave Rule 21 staff alone (on minor misdemeanours). Their plan was to rely on ‘Natural Wastage’ to remove the problem entirely. Unison could be very protective of Rule 21 staff. The management deemed Rule 21 were all old men that would either retire or die soon.
‘Life was good’ thought Dave ‘Nice and safe’. He looked for a blue cap for the sample bottle. The new lads were so dim ‘Its Red for legionnaires, black for foul, green for Surface and Blue for tap water’. The thick school leavers always got the cap colours wrong. Dave had to admit this sample looked weird. The see through container, the shiny plastic cap and the company logo were all blue. The Hospital were more than a little alarmed. Blue water came out of taps in 7 wards. ‘Leak Dye’ Dave thought, ‘vegetable colouring added to find leaks the newspapers harped on about’. ‘They don’t maintain the system like I did when I was a lad’. He put the blue bottle in amongst all the others, ‘stands out like a sore thumb’. The van started 2nd attempt, ‘bloody Motor Transport’ he thought ‘I could sort it out for them’. ‘All this ruddy fuss over a bit of leak dye’. An hour later he was saying ‘Hello mate, this one is ultra-urgent, put it at the head of the queue’. Rule 21 Dave had just exerted ‘non-existent authority’ over the laboratory priority rules. He had become aware that his behaviour was never questioned, no matter how hard he pushed the boundaries. Dave expanded his importance at every opportunity. Add a bit of drama here, sow a little discord there, made a thankless boring task less mundane. Unison had made his world safe but in the bigger scheme of things, higher powers than unions prevailed.
The time is 18:30, the place is The Laboratory Night Reception
It was a normal busy day. 7pm was shift ‘Hand Over’ time. Thirty minutes early for work as usual. I wanted that Day Reception job and Bert was rule 21 and getting on a bit. Bert’s day samples were always a muddle but heck Bert was likable enough and I wanted his job.
‘Big bloomer in ‘ospital up west. Control ‘as sent three carriers to pump fresh water. There’s ‘igh priority sample coming in’. Bert said in his cockney accent.
Paul said ‘Oh right. What time did this kick off?’ and thought ‘bloody Rule 21, how come he gets the day shift? Not fair, what must visitors think of the way he talks?’
Bert was lighting a forbidden fag, ‘bout tea time I suppose’
I said ‘That’s a while ago… not that urgent then’ and out of ear shot ‘nice precise time?’
The fag went out. ‘Got to investigate who blued the water, someone owes ten grand for them water carriers’
I said ‘Mmm ten big ones’ and thought ‘blue water… how very strange.’
‘See you mate’ said Bert and he scuttled out of the door, as usual about 15 minutes early.
‘See you in the morning… fifteen minutes late as per usual, grrr Rule 21, it’s all so unfair.’
The automatic door closed and the magnetic lock clicked. It was getting dark outside and I was now solely responsible for ‘Out of Hours Samples Reception’. I sighed, thought of my career with BT. Exchange maintenance had been dispensed with by bloody System X. Anger passed, I settled down at reception, for what became an eventful night. ‘Bloody Rule 21’ came to mind again and a brief dream of the future, when he joined his missus in bed seven days a week instead of 4 nights one week and 3 nights the next. Patterns… he hated shift patterns. Peace and quiet was interrupted suddenly by a loud buzz from the door intercom system. Dave walked into reception when, like the automaton this job had made me, I pressed automatically the door ENTER button. At that very instant the telephone rang.
‘Hi, it’s control, is that you Paul?’
‘Yes that’s right, Bert’s just gone home’ I lied. What’s occurring?’
‘St John’s Hospital Mate, Dave’s gone to sample the blue water that’s coming out of the taps. Dave recons its leak dye, but to be safe, I have an analyst on the way. It’s Jim, he’s not happy, he was going to a party in Southend, he is a good guy and he’ll be with you soon.
‘Jim from metals, yeah he’s good, he’s been in every department here, and he’ll identify it’
Laughs… ‘That bloody nutter Dave drunk a pint of the stuff, still… put the staff and patients minds at rest’
‘Oh my God…’ and thought to himself ‘Dave’s such a ‘know all’, very likeable… some humility would be good’ and said into the phone ‘Dave’s here now, with the blue sample, very pretty, looks like Curacao, nice with ice.’
Control breathed in hard, ‘Mmm wished I was there, Cocktails! Ring either way if anything changes.’
‘Okay, I will be here’
Dave re-entered reception announcing that he had placed all the non-urgent samples in the fridge and placed the legionella reds in the day reception office. ‘See you Paul, make sure they all get done’ and he swaggered out, proud of his self-importance.
And just as in nature, there was a peaceful gentle lull before the storm…
The Time is 22:00
Paul was bored. It was ten. He had checked all plant was off, steam boiler indicator was green and all the lights were off. It had been 9 o’clock when the last member of the office staff left. The door buzzer went. ‘Sunny’ Jim had finally arrived ‘Docklands Light Railway’ and he made a rude gesture.
‘That DLR is a joke Jim, here’s the sample, interestingly bright blue’.
‘That is a pretty colour, wonder what it is?’
40 minutes went by.
‘Well me old China, it is ethylene glycol’
‘Not Leak Dye then?’
‘NO, it is ethylene glycol, anti-freeze to you and me, high concentration of it’
Paul snatched at the Phone.
‘Hi control, Paul at Millharbour, yeah, hi mate, its anti-freeze… er ethylene glycol’
‘Certain… Jim is 100% on that’
‘Okay I will inform everyone, tell Jim I owe him one’
‘Tat tar… Jim they owe you one.’
‘One of many’.
Lulls never last, storms come usually after much gathering of gloom….
The Time is 00:00
Midnight and a horrible thought popped into Paul’s head. The phone was snatched again.
‘Reading Mad House, what’s up Millharbour?’
‘When did you come on shift mate?’
‘Mmm about 10 o’clock, why’s that then?’
‘In your hand over did…’
‘Didn’t have one mate, I was ten minutes late, George had already gone’
‘Dave … ‘
‘No I told you it was George’
‘No listen, Dave the sampler, he drunk a pint of that anti-freeze’
‘Is he mad? You’re kidding me right?’
‘Dave was sure it was leak dye, he drunk a pint of the stuff to pacify the hospital’
‘Right I am paging the silly beggar’ – ‘Thames got the guy that caused all this mayhem’
‘Already?’
‘Yep, he was putting anti-freeze in a cooling tower, flushed it round the system using a fire hose, drop in mains pressure, and he siphons 100 gallons of ethylene glycol into the drinking main… They’ll sack him, he has cost his firm £25,000, Silly Man Eh?’
Some people pay for their mistakes. Paying money hurts but its not permanent damage. Money comes… Money goes, the trick is to know what the stakes are. Some risks are best avoided no matter how much bloody money it costs.
The Time is 02:00, the place is The Lorry Park at Becton near The Sewage Works
Dave wasn’t feeling well. He had a pain in the centre of his back. He never had back problems. Oh well, if he needed time off work, he was Rule 21, he’d stay at home, do a spot of Gardening or some heavy lifting. He chuckled to himself.
He was sweating profusely and had driven into Becton Lorry Park to take his jacket off.
‘That back pain is worsening.’ He thought.
The Lorry Park at 2am was quiet and dreary, nothing stirred. It was still, lonely, and misty being close to Old Father Thames.
‘BANG!’ Dave had suddenly thrust open the van driver’s door and had hit an unseen bollard. Just in time, as he was violently sick on the grey Tar Mac. The sick was milky white and had bright red streaks in it, bit like raspberry ripple ice cream. His vision swam and ice cream was replaced by a fuzzy image of his parent’s faces, then he thought he saw a baby carriage and then total blackness.
‘Good God’ he thought ‘I do really feel ill’
Just then his pager went off. ‘Ring control urgent’
Dave stared at the pager ‘I must get that, it’s very important that I respond, urgent work for me’.
A Policeman spoke into his collar ‘Located Thames Water van Registration DFQ 893K. Single Male occupant. Ambulance on site, no blues and twos.’
‘Received’ said a soothing voice almost a whisper, Dave tried to reply ‘You can’t do this, I am Rule 21 you know’
