January 2018. New Years Day. The countdown begins. Mentally ticking off the Birthdays and Anniversaries. Oh, such. a busy month.Thought of it exhausting. Yet, there was a cutoff date when they all stopped and that was the 16th of January. For me, the new year actually starts on January the 17th for reasons that I hope you will become aware of through reading this tale. The first is okay. Usually, I have a thick head and feel tired having been up to 1 or 2 am the night/morning before. 2, 3, 4, 5 that’s the day Michelle came alive. First Birthday 2018. We gather and have a meal together and buy her stuff she doesn’t need or want. 38 is a good calibre. I feel old. Legs 11. Patricia has good ones. Her birthday is a day we spend on our own and everything else that concerns us is forsaken entirely. One day later and 12Th is not glorious. Our son David was born that day and remains ‘my little stranger’ all his life. His is the start of the mood changer that is imminent and inevitable. Jan14th marks the day when my grandfather Joeseph Tarry dies in East Ham Hospital of a massive heart attack. I was born just 55 days previously. Dad always said that my Grandad was so proud of me. Harry and Joeseph had a love that was very strong for each other. Ten days after Joseph died my father recovered the will to live, this was the first of several occasions that I was so stupid not to see coming. Dad never wanted me to love him in the way he loved his dad. January 15th marks the day when I said Goodbye to my father Harry. Only eight months previously we had both said our goodbyes to Mum. Dad died broken and very unhappy. The 16th dawns and hopefully nothing will happen on that day. Established patterns have a great power over the mind and soul and are difficult to relegate to nonsense. At last, the 17th dawns and with a mixture of great joy and remembered sorrow. My new year really begins.
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