First time I heard about parapodia’s, I liked them. Parapodia’s are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.
(Sir Winston Churchill loved them).
1. Where there’s a will, there is a relative
5. We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.
9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you
13. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure
17. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you …but it’s still on my list
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left
10. In filling out a job application, where it said, “In case of an emergency, notify…” I answered, “a doctor.
14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target
18. I wrote a course. on apathy – but no one turned up for it
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak
7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sex
15. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car
19. The course I wrote on Time Management was brilliant, but all the students were late for it.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research
12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice
16. You’re never too old to learn something stupid
20. I wrote a course on Punctuation because the company letters were appalling – that put a stop to it!
